Rocking out Drugs!

Today the Red Ribbon Week theme is "Rock out Drugs!"

LOL!!! we are rocking out in first grade!

Spider Candy

So... we have been talking about spiders in science because it goes great with Halloween. Today I was letting them raise their hands and tell spider facts. I found out some interesting things... You might be curious to know...

Student:
"A local candy store in Cambodia makes cockroaches and spiders out of candy!"

(Hold up...wait...WHAT!?!?! that doesn't even make sense! ... but it gets better)

Student:
"Yeah...it's true. I have been there once...very few times...and they gave me a cockroach on a stick."

Well...what do you know! I looked it up, and Cambodia does cook and eat tarantulas as a delicacy.

I found nothing out about candy spiders or cockroaches...maybe this kid should try being a politician. What he is saying sounds legit...how could he make that up? But don't be fooled... this alleged candy shop in Cambodia is only one of many destinations he has embarked upon in his entire 6 years. HA!

"You could marry my uncle..."

Sometimes the funniest things in class are the random ones. This next random conversation happened today...once again the obsession with my potential husbands.

Student 1:
"Hey Ms. Guinn.. I was thinking. You could marry my uncle. He is very handsome and has great smelling hair!"

Student 2:
"I just farted."

"When I grow up..."

This week we are learning about different jobs and discussing what we want to be when we grow up. I had three vets, one superman, two army men, a fireman and some others that seem to be popular among young children, but one in particular stuck out. One of my little girls politely raised her hand to share with the class about what she wanted to be.
Student:
"When I grow up I want to work in a hospital and be a doctor, then I will quit and be a janitor. I might not even work in the hospital at all since I really just want to be a janitor."

"Maybe it will stick to my teeth!..."

One of my little girls got an awesome magnetic neclace for her birthday. The charm that goes on the neclace is a bottle cap and each cap has a different design. On the back of the bottle cap there is a magnet that allows the cap to stick to the neclace and also make it easy to change it out with other caps. She had been taking the cap off and putting it back on all morning. At some point in time she and another student discovered its magnetic abilities when it happened to stick to the white board, so I took this time to let the entire class try to find other things and places that the magnetic bottle cap might stick to. Soon my class found a pattern. Most everything that the bottle cap stuck to was a silvery color (metal usually is). They were running all around the room looking for more places to stick the cap when out of no where the little girl stopped and said, "Maybe...since it sticks to silvery things...it will stick to my silver teeth." The cap most definitely did not stick to her teeth (to her dismay), but I found the dissapointment of this little girl and the rest of the class to be very enlightening. How nice would it be if my biggest dissapointment in life were the impossibilities of decorating my teeth with magnets... oh what a stress free and happy world.

Kevin

Today I brought my kids a surprise. I didn't get to go to the pumpkin patch with them yesterday because I had a training to go to. To make up for my absence, I brought some little figures (3 dinosaurs, 1 turtle, and a poodle) that, when put it in water, grow up to 600%! (Below are two examples...even though these are not the same animals we had.)

We decided to grow the T-Rex dinosaur, but I thought it would be appropriate to name our new "pet." So I asked the class to give me some ideas. I got different names like, bubbles, spot, dino, etc. but it wasn't until I hear one particular name that sparked my interest. One of my boys (after many names had been suggested) jumped up and yelled, "KEVIN!! it has to be Kevin!" I was intrigued. "Why Kevin?" I asked. He replied with, "It just makes sense. It can't be anything else!" I looked around and all of my other kids were nodding in acceptance and joy (which was surprising). So we named our pet dinosaur..Kevin :) Why? well...it just makes sense, that's why!

Relationship Troubles...continued

Student:
"Girls are so hard to deal with! Me and my friend were sharing one, and I tried to get her to quit talking to him, but women just don't listen!....She thought he was "nice." (and he actually did the quote signs in the air)

Relationship troubles

Student 1: "I had a girlfriend."

Student 2: "Oh yeah, what happened?"

Student 1: "She broke up with me." small pause...deep sigh and quietly whispers, "I guess she just wasn't having much fun."

"Just nod and smile"

I have a student in my class that is very easily excited. When this student gets worked up it is sometimes hard to understand what he is saying. Today when we were at breakfast something happened (I still don't know what) and he was SO excited! He shouted something, and I kind of looked at another little girl in the class who was sitting by him to see if maybe she understood what he said. She realized I was a little confused, and I was looking to her for a little explanation. She very lovingly looked at me, and with the wisdom that only a 6 year old could have, stated, "Just nod and smile, Ms. Guinn... Just nod and smile."

Oh JOE!

Little girl #1: "I want you to marry Joe Jonas because he is cuter. I would, but I am too little."

Little girl #2: "Yeah...and he doesn't have a girlfriend because Stella is just his friend."

Little girl #1: "But they went out one time."

Little girl #2: "But if it was a real date, they would have went to dinner."

"So that makes us all brothers and sisters"

I had some girls today that were having some "dramatic" girly issues. Three of them were fighting over who sat where first. It almost broke into a "hair-pulling" disaster before I could get to them and break it up. When everyone finally calmed down we had a discussion about how our class was a family, and we should take care of one another and love each other. As I was going on about friendship and our class family, one of my little girls raised her hand and said,

Little girl #1: "Yeah...and God is everyone's dad, so that makes us brothers and sisters...even my mom!"

It was quiet for a while, then my friendly, animated little boy spoke up and said, "So that makes Jesus our step-dad."

Little girl #2: "and Jesus is married to Mary."

Little girl #1: "No...Mary is Jesus' mom."

Little girl #2: "So God is our Dad, Jesus is our step-dad, and Mary isn't my mom at all? This is more complicated than my family here on earth."

"Why aren't you married yet?"

Student: "Why aren't you married yet?"

Me: "I just haven't found the "one."

Student: "You should marry a Jonas Brother. Not Nick- you should marry Joe."

Me: "Why not Nick? Why Joe?"

Student 2: "Maybe because he has great hair."

I will take this into serious consideration :) Joe Jonas here I come!

"You are married to your dad!?!"

In the past two years, I have come to realize that the fact that I am NOT married is hard for my students to grasp. I guess young children assume that all teachers are married with children.
The following conversation happened on my very first day of school.

Student 1: "Are you married?"

Me: "No. Not yet."

Student 2: "When you get married will your husband's name be Mr. Guinn?"

Me: "Oh no. My dad's name is Mr. Guinn. When I get married, my name will change."

Student 1: "You are married to your dad!?!?"

Me: "No! My name is the name I was given when I was born and when I get married it will change. Right now my dad and I have the same last name."

Student 2: "Do you have a daughter?"

Me: "No"

Student 1: "Do you have a son?"

Me: "NO! I do not have a husband, daughter, or son."

Student 3: (Turns to the two students who had been talking this entire time and says:)
"Who's the wise guy that made her a teacher."

"I saved you from gettin' embarrassed!"

Anyone who has ever taught elementary school probably knows that sometimes the "funnies" that take place in our classroom often come at our own expense. It was my first year to teach, and I had recently gotten a cute new dress to wear to school. It was trendy but still casual and COMFORTABLE! All the girls in my class went on and on about how "BEAUTIMOUS" I looked (which does numbers for the self-esteem) and the boys were very polite and told my how pretty I was. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good. Anyhow, it was time to line up for recess, and I bent over to tie one of my kid's shoes... and somehow when I stood back up there was part of the back end of my dress wedged in a place it shouldn't be. Now of course I did not notice, but things like that don't go unnoticed by 6 year old children. I began to walk out of the classroom when one of my little girls screamed, "MS. GUINN! DON'T MOVE!" she ran to my side and with out hesitation ripped my dress out of my crack, turned to the rest of the class and proclaimed, "HER DRESS WAS IN HER CRACK!" then politely turned back to me and stated, "I saved you from gettin' embarrassed!"

Thank you for that!

"I was just trying to help!"

So far, in every class I have had it seems as though there is a student who THINKS they can speak other languages (when they most definitely can NOT). Last year I had a student who "spoke" Italian, French and Spanish. It's funny because when she spoke those languages, it sounded legit! (I knew better, though! :)

Well this year there is a young man who made it clear, very early on this year, that he could speak spanish. He asked if I would like to hear, and of course I did, and it was HILARIOUS! anyway... one day I was reading a story, and after every sentence I heard some jibberish coming from somewhere in the crowd of children. After a few minutes of this jibberish after every sentence I spoke, I stopped reading and addressed this annoyance.
I looked at the student and asked, "What in heaven's name are you saying?"
He responded, "I was making what you said in English for the kids who can't understand you! I am trying to help!" He then turned to the children who "supposedly" didn't understand what I was saying and he "translated" what he just said, "kslf jsdlf lsfjlsfjldsjf".... LOL!
(What is super funny is... there wasn't a child in my class who needed translating!)

"I hope you don't let me down"

It was meet the teacher night, and I was so excited. Most of my class had come to meet me, and they were CUTE! It was almost time to leave and most had already gone. I was walking into the hall when one of my new students came running up. I put on a big show and jumped up and down SO excited to see him (which I really was) and I led him into the classroom. As we were walking in he looked up and said,
"Ms. Guinn..." (holds up his thumb and pointer finger) "I was THIS close to quittin.... when I found out I was going to be in your class, I decided to give it another shot, I hope you don't let me down."

I don't know what could go so wrong for a six year old to be ready to throw in the towel after kindergarten... but...
I hope I don't let you down either!!

LOL

"Well that makes sense"

I had a little girl in my classroom that was a twin. One day we were discussing families, and she mentioned that she had a twin sibling. This confused some of the kids in my class, so I simply explained that instead of just one baby, there were two babies in her momma's tummy when she was born. Sure enough one of my kids popped off,
"well how do those babies get in there in the first place?"
(I knew it was coming...why couldn't I have diverted from this particular curiosity?)
I sat silently for a while...praying for an appropriate answer when another little girl popped off:
"God put them there and when they are ready, he pulls 'em out."
I was like...well there you have it...when just then another boy pops off, "well that makes sense, he's the only guy I know who could squeeze two of them in there."
The rest of my class was completely content, and I had to say nothing :)

"Look, Ms. Guinn... He has a little mustache"

Last year I had the cutest little boy in my class, and he had darker hair so it sometimes looked as if he had a small mustache. He didn't really, but because his hair was so dark, it often times appeared so.
Well I also had another little boy who was rather animated and very friendly. One day we were lining up for lunch, and I heard my animated boy urgently yell my name from the line. I quickly walked over to see what it was, and he was facing my student with very dark hair. The friendly little boy excitedly glanced up at me and said, "Look, Ms. Guinn..." (and while reaching up to tickle the other little boys "whiskers" said...) "he has a little mustache!"

"Well I guess I could tell him about Jesus!"

There is a little boy in my class, and last year before I had him, he would always come up to me and very excitedly tell me about his day and everything going on in his life. Well one particular day he came to talk to me, and he was ON FIRE! Mad as a hornet!!!

Little boy: "OH MAN, Ms. Guinn !!! I'm so MAD! I'm going to punch him in the face!"

Me: "who are you going to punch in the face?"

Little boy: "My brother!! he makes me so mad! I want to pick his nose hairs out!"

Me: "oh man, you sound mad...do you think hitting your brother...or picking his nose hairs out will be a good idea?"

Little boy: (thinking hard)...deep sigh... "well no...I guess that wouldn't be a good idea"

Me: "Well can you think of something that might work out better for your situation"

Little boy: "Oh alright...I guess I could tell about Jesus...is that what you want?"

LOL!

Thunder

Me: What is thunder and where does it come from?
Student: well...everybody knows that's just God banging on his drum!

"I think we should do what she says"

The past few weeks I have been having trouble getting my students to do what they needed to be doing. I had gone almost crazy repeating long lectures about following directions, being responsible, and getting work done in a timely manner. One afternoon I had just HAD IT! I sat them down, and I said "You Have to follow directions! My job is to teach you the things you need for second grade! If you don't follow my instructions and do what I tell you to do, you will NOT be ready for second grade! This is VERY important! If you continue to talk, play, and refuse to do the things I tell you to do, you may very well miss out on learning experiences that are taking place in this classroom."

One of my little girls raised her hand, so I called on her, and she began to explain very clearly what I had been trying to get across for almost 2 weeks. I should have told it this way from the beginning :)

"Ms. Guinn, there was a man, and he was told over and over to do something, and he didn't. So one day he got on a boat and God was just tired of it, so a whale ate him. Maybe if we don't do what you tell us to, a whale will eat us. (turning to the rest of the class)...I think we should do what she says."

"Well what do you know...."

The other day one of my boys brought me a grasshopper. He was holding it by it's leg and before he got to me the grasshopper jumped away. He looked at his hand that was still holding the dear grasshoppers leg and said, "well what do you know.... He jumped right out of his leg!" hahahahaha

Cutie's Godmother

Hi! My name is Danielle.
This is my first blog, woo woo! I teach first grade, and this is my second year to do so. I have already experienced many hilarious conversations from my beautiful 6 year old students, and everyone I talk to says "write it down!"... so I thought...what better way than to blog about it :)
So here is my first and (so far) favorite story from my classroom.

It was my first year to teach, and I had the sweetest and most precious classroom full of kids. We were about midway through the year, and one of my "cutsie" little girls had been going on and on about her Godmother. Her Godmother was getting married, so everyday we heard... My Godmother this...and my God mother that....on and on and on and on...Of course I always acted very interested to hear everything she had to say, but what I did not take into consideration was the disinterest of the rest of the class.

Well... one morning one of my other little girls walked into the classroom and of course the "cutsie" girl started talking about her God mother. A few minutes into the conversation one of my little boys walked in and politely asked, "What is she talking about?" and the little girl (obviously irrititated with the redudancy in the conversation) through up her arms in disgust and proclaimed, "I don't know!! She keeps going on and on about her FAIRY GODMOTHER, and I am just done with it!"

LOL